Pickup isn’t just one skill. There is no single thing that mastering will get you every girl that you meet. This might sound obvious but I still see ads all the time on the internet for “The One Thing You Need to Say to Get Girls!” This means there are guys out there that honestly believe girls are like Nintendo 64s and hitting the right combination of A, B, and the directional arrows will make girls fall lin love with them.
Instead, pickup is a combination of social skills that you can learn which will allow you to be more confident and at ease socially, to better project your positive traits when meeting new people, and to comfortably create emotional connections. There are tons of skills to learn, so many that you could spend the rest of your life learning new things to improve your social abilities.
That being said, mastery of only a few skills will take you miles beyond where most people are, especially most guys. Because while girls have been reading Cosmo and swapping dating advice for as long as mankind has had Cosmo and dating guys have just started honing their social skills in the past decade or so. One day, I hope, the dating scene will have just as many socially savvy, confident guys as it does girls. But for right now any guy reading this and looking to improve with girls is at the front of a dating revolution and in a great place
Tools of the Trade– The 6 Things
Now that I’ve made it clear there is no magic code, no catchphrase, and no pickup line that will reprogram a girl into your brainwashed love zombie I’ll go on to outline some of the things that with practice will work.
Attitude – This is the most basic of the basic skills. Without the right attitude nothing else will fall into place. In a future post I’ll go in depth about text, subtext, and how to cultivate the right kind of attitude. For now it’s important to know that pickup should be fun, approach it as something you enjoy doing without stress. Girls can sense how you feel about the situation you’re in so make sure to feel your best at all times.
Body Language – Attitude’s little brother.Your body language will convey the first message a girl gets from you. In all social interactions you should use your body language to convey the same few messages. You should convey that you are comfortable, confident, and interested in the person you’re talking to. Good posture, smiling, eye contact, slow movement, and other things can help with your body language.
Opener – What you say when you first meet a girl. This gets an underserved amount of attention and entire websites can be found that address the different kinds of openers you can use. But because an opener’s job is just to break the ice and to explain why you’re approaching her, anything as simple as “Hi, I’m …” can work. Any opener works if you have your attitude and body language down.
Flirting – This makes the conversation more memorable and takes it beyond small talk. A lot of guys don’t know how to flirt, but remember that flirting is all about playing, making inside jokes with a girl. Not putting her down but making it fun. Some examples of good flirting will come later. For now, don’t put the girl down. This isn’t funny to the girl and won’t win you any cool points.
Story Telling/Listening – Telling stories and getting the other person to tell you stories is the crux of any interaction. This is what creates friendship, or more. Swapping stories is the fastest way to create a connection, but you have to know how to tell a good story and how to be a good listener.
Touching – This is not a dirty as it sounds. Physical contact breeds a sense of closeness, whether it’s a friend punching a friend playfully, family hugging, or a boyfriend kissing his girlfriend. Without any physical contact then you can have the best conversation in the world, but you’ll still just be two straners making great conversation. Touching a girl’s arm or shoulder, or hugging her really bridges that gap.
How to Gain Each Skill
If this sounds like a lot to learn just wait until I get into the details of each and every stage. you’ll need to tackle each phase one at a time, through regular practice. I will be issuing challenges and strategies about how to master each skill. Step one comes down to going out into the world and talking to girls. When you talk to a girl you can focus on keeping a positive attitude each time until a positive attitude is the state you’re naturally in every time you talk to a girl. The same with body language, and the same with opening. Practice each area one by one and before you know it you’ll be the smoothest guy anyone’s ever met.
Now that the first official post is over and the hard part is out of the way I’m getting more direction with what I want to do on here and hoping that blog posts will come more regularly. Advice is appreciated, please like my posts, comment, and share this site with friends. I’ll return the favor.
Pickup University 